I have made the pilgrimage again. After sending you this i am going to leave. I don’t think i could come up and ask again for you. What if you really came out? My heart is healed enough to come see you, but not healed enough to see you. However, now that i am here i don’t think you are here today.

Last night i don’t know whether it was the lovely weather of this place, or the weightlessness and fragrance in the air, or i was really hungry and dinner was being cooked where i was staying and it was delicious with spices and butter; or maybe i came so close to where you live maybe, my heart had butterflies wandering in him, touching him gently on his skin and on the forehead and kissing it time and again. I could feel my heart so pumped up, from the caress of the butterflies of anticipation of seeing you.  

However, it doesn’t seem to be happening this way. I hardly think that we could meet under so normal a circumstance - me coming to see you and you coming out and saying not much but smiling and content. For what we have been through.. i am unable to complete my thought here. 

I will make the final pilgrimage next month. I wish I could have come earlier, a week ago, like i had planned to. I do want to know how you are, and do you look forward to seeing us?