User:1003 and User talk:1011: Difference between pages

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(The beginning of the end)
 
(That one is tired, for now)
 
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This is without life, exhausting, dead and one does not want to bring it back. One is going to end now. No more - this. This is ugly. This is evil. This is not real. Thankyou - one owes it to you for the much needed help and support for killing all that was, thankyou for killing one's dreams. How kind and generous of you to come into my life. Your coming was enough to end all.
Should have written this earlier before. Before going to sleep. Main page? Each day it becomes more difficult to say what is meaningful and to tell her that. Why does the heart pain so much still? Why do you bear so much pain? Be free from the thoughts that are non-real, please. Wish one could tell her what it is like, and to ask her for what one wants from her, how important it is that one does not write what comes to one's mind - all these words are not real. One wonders if it will be a departure soon, from the world. How fine it would be!
 
It would have been better to have written this yesterday before the end of evening. Couple of minutes late and so much is lost, every such moment - if one is to believe in moments and losses and in being late. How crazy and beautiful - together. It would have been nice to write when one was still capable of writing. Now so meaningless - the words and their meanings. Hiding truth in plain sight. Words, and therefore thoughts, being function of time - how could they ever capture? or claim?
 
Three weeks is enough time, to rest and recover. One would like to sleep, sleep without the knowing that one would get up ever again with any agenda. To get up without any desires of any kind, other than to be alive and awake. Until the night's sleep claims the waking life again. What one lost was an opportunity to heal oneself, in this time of frame. And this is how the pain propagates.
 
One wanted to ask her, if she came recently to one's place, at the end of the previous month? One had been feeling that feeling of her being close by, and then someone gives a description of a girl they saw and how beautiful they were. And then the song that was playing was so resonant of the feeling at that moment. It is a shame that one was unable to share all those songs and music one had been hearing all this time - both in one's head and outside. These songs poking one in so many ways. So much they all tried!

Latest revision as of 00:17, 12 October 2023

Should have written this earlier before. Before going to sleep. Main page? Each day it becomes more difficult to say what is meaningful and to tell her that. Why does the heart pain so much still? Why do you bear so much pain? Be free from the thoughts that are non-real, please. Wish one could tell her what it is like, and to ask her for what one wants from her, how important it is that one does not write what comes to one's mind - all these words are not real. One wonders if it will be a departure soon, from the world. How fine it would be!

It would have been better to have written this yesterday before the end of evening. Couple of minutes late and so much is lost, every such moment - if one is to believe in moments and losses and in being late. How crazy and beautiful - together. It would have been nice to write when one was still capable of writing. Now so meaningless - the words and their meanings. Hiding truth in plain sight. Words, and therefore thoughts, being function of time - how could they ever capture? or claim?

Three weeks is enough time, to rest and recover. One would like to sleep, sleep without the knowing that one would get up ever again with any agenda. To get up without any desires of any kind, other than to be alive and awake. Until the night's sleep claims the waking life again. What one lost was an opportunity to heal oneself, in this time of frame. And this is how the pain propagates.

One wanted to ask her, if she came recently to one's place, at the end of the previous month? One had been feeling that feeling of her being close by, and then someone gives a description of a girl they saw and how beautiful they were. And then the song that was playing was so resonant of the feeling at that moment. It is a shame that one was unable to share all those songs and music one had been hearing all this time - both in one's head and outside. These songs poking one in so many ways. So much they all tried!