|
|
| (4 intermediate revisions by 2 users not shown) |
| Line 1: |
Line 1: |
|
| |
|
| If not, then I can write something now and put a total end to this. Even though I am unable to write much coherently. Honestly, it is damaged brain and resulting lunacy. The self, which is supposed to be round and whole, has been split many times now, and is beyond repair. Unable to connect with myself, how I feel, and how I think, I have forgotten what is sacred?
| | हरिः ॐ |
|
| |
|
| I used to know what is sacred. Now I don’t think i know. There is also much ego to work with, and it is insanely difficult now. And while I am doing everything I can come up with to do - I keep losing the touch with the sacred. I am sorry. I sorry if this is not a good news. And I am sorry that I did not listen to you and do what you suggested. Every day I sink a little more under the weight of my own deeds. I wish I could drown.
| | This is [[मंगलाचरण| मंगलाचरण (manglaacharan)]]. |
|
| |
|
| It is a shame to admit that I think of you all the time. Even in sleep I am writing you letters. Most every night. And by morning I lose to myself, this version of me that writes you letters, when every morning I don’t write anything to you. Absolute lunacy this is and I don’t want this anymore as it is not functional. That’s not how normally people relate to each other, do they? | | It seemed appropriate to use मंगलाचरण as it protects the auspiciousness of the sentiment, until the structure of this can be discovered and determined, and created and expressed for this. And then the structure can carry within itself the auspiciousness, without the need for an explicit invocation. |
|
| |
|
| It is non-functional for me to be thinking of you and about you, and all about you all the time, unable to put one’s mental and intellectual resources into practice, that would, in contrast, get me to being with you. It is a shame really that our current arrangement of communication is terrible. Even, figuratively (to preface), enemies and strangers have it better.
| | The first semantic level मंगलाचरण happens with the invocation to Sri Ganesha. This invocation not only qualifies as मंगलाचरण for the main page entry but also as the मंगलाचरण for the entire journey. The story underneath serves as मंगलाचरण for all that comes after. So there is मंगलाचरण within मंगलाचरण. |
|
| |
|
| Do you know, how it feels? While I am writing this letter. Like every time? That this is going to blow up in my face - push you away further, give more reasons for you to turn around and leave, without giving me anything to work with or the sanity or any actual tangibility of connection.
| | Please note the invocation of Sri Vishnu in the energy of [[नारायण| नारायण (Narayana)]]. The story is meant to serve as providing the objective of the text that is to come - to see what is, to understand the nature of illusions and differentiate between eternal and temporary. This is the quality of [[विवेक| विवेक (Viveka)]] and said to be the first quality needed to be developed for the one walking the path to liberation. |
|
| |
|
| Every time. And unfortunately and usually that’s what ends up happening. I feel quite restricted when I am writing to you. There is no space to do much anything without being upsetting or disappointing. Not knowing what could I possibly write. And it is lame that the one takes action ends up losing energy for themselves.
| |
|
| |
|
| I am not sure how I gained the energy to write you this tonight. Likely the date - the anniversary. With my broken language, and broken sentences, and the broken sense of what is. And with little gravity to words. Feeling defeated in failing to recognise what is sacred. I know I knew sacredness.
| |
|
| |
|
| Do you see and understand that I have much healing to do? Even small and basic stuff. This was quite traumatic (to borrow some vocabulary) - this whole experience. It was more traumatic than all the experiences put together, and I have had quite a fair share of them in this life. Right now it feels like that. I don’t have a grounding in a truth or reality. Nor I have an understanding of who I am.
| | [https://koham.ai/index.php/Why_do_we_invoke_Sri_Ganesha_in_%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%82%E0%A4%97%E0%A4%B2%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%9A%E0%A4%B0%E0%A4%A3%3F| Sri Ganesh is invoked here] as an energy that removes hurdles from the path and as an energy that is the first guru (Adi Guru). |
|
| |
|
| I am sorry about all the time of yours that was wasted. Of course, I did not mean it to happen - that way or any other way. It just happened. And I am sorry that it happened. I had not imagined that a small thing would compound into a glacial phenomenon. Before I could discover things were slipping away, they had slipped away. At no moment in this entire thing, did I have a grasp on whatever was happening and what I was supposed to do, or how to act. However, that does not pardon me from the responsibility of it all.
| |
|
| |
|
| I will come visit you, if and once, I have healed enough to be near you and to see you. Within ten weeks. That’s the plan. And that’s a fair way to work this out - if I haven’t healed enough by then, I could be rubbing my nose against your window and still wouldn’t see you. However, as far as I know and have been told, I will be able to meet you and see you. I don’t know, I am scared - maybe I’ll drown when I see you.
| |
|
| |
|
| However, if I cannot come to your place, your hometown, then you know how it is. And that should be the end of this. If you cannot come to see me, or don’t, then I would again understand, and assume that it is meant to be this way. And will find ways to fix that by my own. Anyway, this should be the end of the way we have been doing stuff.
| | |
| | ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॥ |
हरिः ॐ
This is मंगलाचरण (manglaacharan).
It seemed appropriate to use मंगलाचरण as it protects the auspiciousness of the sentiment, until the structure of this can be discovered and determined, and created and expressed for this. And then the structure can carry within itself the auspiciousness, without the need for an explicit invocation.
The first semantic level मंगलाचरण happens with the invocation to Sri Ganesha. This invocation not only qualifies as मंगलाचरण for the main page entry but also as the मंगलाचरण for the entire journey. The story underneath serves as मंगलाचरण for all that comes after. So there is मंगलाचरण within मंगलाचरण.
Please note the invocation of Sri Vishnu in the energy of नारायण (Narayana). The story is meant to serve as providing the objective of the text that is to come - to see what is, to understand the nature of illusions and differentiate between eternal and temporary. This is the quality of विवेक (Viveka) and said to be the first quality needed to be developed for the one walking the path to liberation.
Sri Ganesh is invoked here as an energy that removes hurdles from the path and as an energy that is the first guru (Adi Guru).
ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॥